Some cats love to be petted, whereas other cats would rather you just left them alone.  If you pet your cat in the right place, your cat will love it and love you because of the pleasure you are giving it.  Cats like to be petted on their terms – you should always allow a cat to approach you rather than the other way round.  If cats are not happy with how or where they are being petted, they will soon let you know!!

Cats like being petted because it is a reminder to them of how their mother used to pet them when they were kittens.  When we pet our cats, we leave our scent on their fur, which can help to create a bond between you and your cat.  By gently petting your cat, you are letting it know you love it.

Cats have subtle ways of letting you know they want your attention.  They will rub against your legs, sit on your lap, or meow at you.  If your cat has shown you that it wishes to be petted, the best place to pet it is on the top of its head or its cheeks – these are where a cat’s scent glands are situated.

Petting unfamiliar cats

If you do not want a cat to run away from you, you should approach it carefully and gently – if you make any sudden movements, you may scare it away.  If you see an unknown cat, and like me, wish to see if it wants to be petted (I cannot resist cats!!), you should kneel down so that you and the cat are on the same level.

We are much bigger than cats, so it is understandable that a cat may become scared if it sees you approaching.  If you have cleared the first hurdle, and the cat begins to approach you, you should hold out your hand to allow it to smell you if it wants – sometimes it does, but sometimes it will run away.  Cats like to be able to explore your hand before they will allow you to stroke them.

If this happens, and it has happened to me sometimes, you should not chase after the cat and should let it go.  I am sure there will be other cats who would like you to pet them.  One particular cat in my street would come to me, meowing at me to pet it, and would sometimes even follow me for a short distance.

When petting the cat, you should gently pet the top of its head, but you should refrain from petting the cat over its full body, or scratching behind its ear until the cat has become more familiar with you.  You will also then learn what the cat likes and what it does not like.

If a cat approaches you, it is not always because it wants to be petted.  It may be bored, hungry, or simply wants to play.  If the cat does not want to be petted, it will growl or hiss at you, stop purring, or will move its tail.

 

Discovering when your cat wants to be petted

If your cat wants you to pet it, it may rub up against you, or bump its head into your leg whilst you are sitting down.  It is your cat’s way of marking its territory.  My cat, Bess, has bumped her head against my leg on numerous occasions, and I always know it is because she wants my attention.

Even if you are busy, you should always pet your cat so that it knows it is not being ignored.  Sometimes, however, although your cat is telling you it wants to be petted, it may only wish to be petted once or twice.

If this is the case, it will soon let you know!!  If you ignore your cat when it is telling you it wants to be petted, it could lead to it scratching the furniture to obtain your attention.

For further information regarding how to stop your cat from scratching the furniture, please read my article: how to keep your cat from scratching the furniture.

If your cat jumps on to your lap and settles down you should attempt to pet it to ascertain what it wants to do.  If your cat reacts by squirming, it is telling you that it just wants to lie on your lap and does not necessarily want you to pet it.

Your cat may want to lie on your lap, especially in cold weather, because your body is warm.  If your cat does not squirm, you could continue to pet it, but must always watch the cat closely so that you can ascertain when it has had enough.

If I have ever been out, my cat Bess likes to go a few steps up the stairs opposite the front door, allowing me to pet her through the bannisters.  She always does this, even if I have just been to put some rubbish in the outside bin, and have immediately come back in again.  It’s lovely!!

 

Finding the best spots to pet your cat

Every cat has its favourite place where it likes to stroked – one cat may have a different favourite spot to another.  You have to pet your cat in different areas to see how it reacts.  If your cat begins to purr, you should take that as a sign that it likes what you are doing.

I have learned over the years that my cat, Bess, likes to be petted on the top of her head or behind her ears, but does not like me to touch her tail or stroke her back near her tail. Another place that my cat, Bess, loves me to pet her is under her chin.  She turns her head towards me, showing me that this is an area she definitely wants me to continue petting her in.

Many cats like to be petted behind their ears.  One reason for this is because they find it hard to reach this area.  Most cats do not like you to stroke their tails or legs, however, so you should really avoid petting them there.  A tail is very important to a cat because it can be very sensitive, and is one of its more vulnerable areas, so it feels the need to protect it and will lash out at you if you grab it.

One of the best actions to take is to start petting your cat on the top of its head, and if it likes that, to then move on to petting it along its cheeks.  These are the areas cats seem to like being petted the most.  A cat’s scent glands are situated in these areas and are used by the cat to leave their scent behind when they rub against someone or an item.

This action is a cat’s way of marking its territory to create a familiar environment for itself.  The top of its head and cheek areas cannot be reached very well by your cat, so it finds it difficult to clean them.

If your cat rolls over, showing you its tummy, you should still refrain from petting it there.  To a cat, showing you its stomach is a sign of trust, and if you pet it there, to your cat, you have broken that trust, and it may take a long time before your cat is able to trust you again.

Your cat will soon let you know that its stomach area is off limits by biting you or clawing you because a cat’s natural reaction is to protect itself.  As a cat’s organs are located in the stomach area, it is protected by your cat at all costs because this is where it feels most vulnerable.

If you pet your cat in the stomach area, and it seems to like it, you should still be prepared for it to grab your hand or bite you because it has seen your action as a sign you want to play.

If your cat grabs your hand, you should gently attempt to move your hand away.  If necessary, you should gently move your cat’s paw with your other hand so that your cat’s claws are unhooked from your arm.

A cat loves being petted around its ears, but you must not attempt to stroke it too hard, or you could inadvertently hurt it.  You could attempt to stroke your cat along its full body, but you must be careful not to do it too much because you risk being scratched or bitten.

Your cat will tell you when it has been petted enough.  You should always watch your cat whilst you are petting it – if it begins to move its tail, it is a sure sign that it has had enough and you should stop petting it.  This will make it a pleasurable experience both for you and for your cat.

Another area a cat may like to be petted is between its eyes – if you stroke your cat from the top of its nose to the top of its face, it may become very contented and begin to purr.  Not all cats like to be petted in this area, however, so I would exercise caution.  My cat, Bess, backs away whenever I try to pet her there.  She also hates to be petted at the base of her tail, although other cats love to be petted there.

Some cats do not like to be petted at all, and would much rather be left alone.  They will tell you by scratching you or biting you when you attempt to pet them.  Under these circumstances, you should respect their wishes and leave them alone.

Some cats like to be patted, but some do not, so you have to experiment to find out whether your cat likes to be patted or not.  My cat, Bess, loves me to gently pat her on the top of her head.

Once you have found the best place to pet your cat, you should move your hand around this area slowly and gently so that you do not spook or scare it – many cats hate people making sudden movements.

 

Actions you should not take

If you are petting a cat, you must never attempt to rub its fur in the wrong direction – cats are very clean and vain animals, and will not want you to mess up the fur they have taken hours to get just right!!  Long-haired cats, however, may not mind being petted in this way because their fur lies in many different directions.

You should refrain from reaching across a cat’s face to pet it because doing so could block its sight, and therefore this action could be perceived by the cat as aggressive, and it will retaliate by biting you or clawing you.

If you have a child, you should only allow them to pet the cat whilst you are present because a child may not know the boundaries, and could end up injuring the cat or being injured by the cat.  If you teach your child the best places to pet the cat, you are able to circumvent any possible problems.

You should not attempt to pet your cat if it is sleeping or eating because it is more likely to attack you if you try to pet it under these circumstances.

You should not attempt to play with your cat’s feet until it trusts you more, and has shown you that this is an area it likes to be petted in.  If your cat does not like to be petted in this area, it will move its foot away from you, begin to growl or hiss at you, or will flatten its ears against its head.

If you attempt to pet your cat for too long, your cat will show you that it does not want you to pet it anymore by biting or scratching you.  Cats do not like long contact sessions – when they greet each other, they rub against each other before moving apart.

Cats do not like physical contact to go on for too long, so if you were to pet your cat for a long time, it goes against this natural instinct.  If the petting session between the cats goes on for longer, one of the cats will become involved in an ‘argument’ with the other cat, letting it know that it has crossed a line, and your cat deals with your ‘indiscretion’ in the same way.