If you have a cat, one of the most important aspects of your relationship is to try and get your cat to like you. If you and your cat can forge a bond with each other, owning a cat can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences you can ever have.
I know that my relationship with my cats has given me a great deal of pleasure over the years. I want to encourage you to develop that kind of relationship with your own cat and obtain that same feeling of happiness and fulfillment.
In this article, I will help you to learn how to prepare your cat’s places in advance, how much and how often to feed your cat, when to give your cat treats, when to leave your cat alone, and when to play with, and stroke, your cat.
Make sure your cat’s places are prepared in advance
You should ensure your cat has plenty of spaces it can relax and play in – you will then find your cat can relax more easily and will find it easier to accept you.
It is very important that your cat feels that it can have its own space whilst also knowing that it is considered part of the family because its scratching post or toys are in the room where the family spends most of its time. Your cat is able to have its own space whilst being safe in the knowledge that the family is close by if needed.
It is prudent to ensure that your cat’s food and water bowls are always kept in the same place if possible. This gives your cat the comfort of knowing where its eating place is and that this is where all its meals will be provided.
If you wish, you could also provide your cat with a pet bed, where your cat can spend its time sleeping. One thing to consider, however, is that cats sleep in many different places – their favourite spot one day may be entirely different from their favourite the following day.
I know my cat, Bess, finds many different places to sleep each day – doubtless you will find the same is true of your cat. Essentially it is important that your cat is able to sleep where it feels happiest on that particular day.
Give your cat enough food and at the same time each day
It is prudent to give your cat its food at the same time each day – this will encourage it to adopt a routine, making it less prone to ‘pester’ you for food because it knows exactly when its food will be provided, and will hopefully only approach you for food at these times.
You could give your cat a good mixture of wet and dry food – the wet food will give your cat the liquid it needs to remain hydrated, whilst the dry food will help to keep its teeth healthy because the chewing motion will dislodge the plaque from its teeth and mean that you may avoid a potentially expensive trip to the vet. If your cat’s teeth are healthy, it will be happier because its teeth will not hurt it.
Whether you wish to use separate bowls for the wet and dry food or put the wet and dry food in the same bowl is completely up to you.
It is important, however, to also give your cat some water in a separate bowl, and to keep this fresh and clean at all times to encourage your cat to drink more water. If the water bowl is dirty, your cat will be reluctant to drink from it, and may thus become dehydrated.
You should not give your cat milk to drink because cats are unable to accept the lactose present in milk. This could lead to your cat suffering from diarrhea or having an upset stomach.
Give your cat treats occasionally
If you have only just got your cat, and it is reluctant to approach you, you could consider giving it a treat to help it to begin to trust you. You should hold the treat in your hand, and then call your cat’s name and let it eat the treat from your hand. This will help your cat to become more comfortable with you and could even strengthen your bond.
You are able to give many different treats to your cat, which include catnip, meat, and fish. You should not give your cat chocolate, however, because the chemicals contained in chocolate could prove deadly to your cat. Other foods which should be avoided are tomatoes, raisins, and citrus fruits.
Giving your cat a treat for good behaviour is also a good idea because it will hopefully realise that it has to repeat the behaviour to obtain the treat, and as it begins to learn what is considered good behaviour, you will no longer have to give your cat a treat in this case.
You should be careful when giving your cat too many treats, however, because it may mean that your cat becomes overweight and develops problems with its teeth because of the sugar content of the treat. It is best to give your cat treats accounting for roughly 10% of their diet.
Please do not make the same mistake I did when I gave my first cat treats under the table – he came to expect it and used to claw at me to obtain them. I learned my lesson and now only give my current cat, Bess, treats occasionally.
Clean your cat’s litter box
If you wish to keep your cat happy and contented, you should ensure that its litter box is kept clean at all times – after all, this is her toilet. Not cleaning your cat’s litter box could prevent it from liking you because it may become scared to use its litter box, and unhappy about the state it is in.
The size of the litter box is also important – you should always ensure that your cat’s litter box is big enough for it to be able to do its business comfortably.
If you already have a cat, and introduce another into your home, you should have separate litter boxes for each cat – if your cat smells another cat has used its box, it may become reluctant to use it. It will then begin to feel uncomfortable because it does not feel it can do its business or could begin to do its business in other areas of your home. Please see my article: dangers of cat litter for more information about the dangers of cat litter.
Know when to leave your cat alone
If your cat is washing itself, or is eating or sleeping, you should not attempt to pet it. If you try to pet your cat while it is sleeping, you may scare it, making it lash out at you. If you leave your cat alone at these times, it will be more likely to learn to trust you and over time you will be able to establish a bond.
If you continue to keep petting your cat when it does not want you to, it may begin to run away from you, and will not trust you… it may even begin to fear you.
You should not stroke your cat too hard because you could injure it – you have to stroke your cat very gently. As time passes, you will learn where your cat likes to be petted most – for instance, my cat, Bess, likes to be petted on the top of her head, just behind her ear.
When petting your cat, you should never hug your cat too tightly – this will make it squeal and more likely to run away from you because you have inadvertently hurt it. If, when you are petting your cat, it shows that it no longer wants to be petted by attempting to move away from you or wagging its tail, you should stop petting it and leave it alone. You have to leave it up to your cat to decide how long it wants to be petted for.
It is not a good idea to stroke your cat in its belly – it could claw at you and nip at you to show its displeasure. If your cat reacts in this way, it is telling you it does not want to be petted in this fashion – continuing could diminish her faith in you and may turn it into a bad experience for you and for your cat.
If you are busy and your cat bumps its head against you, in an attempt to obtain your attention, you should pet your cat once or twice so that it knows it is not being neglected.
How to approach a cat
You should always give a cat time to approach you rather than the other way round – a cat may feel intimidated if it sees you approaching it. If a cat is scared or spooked, it may adopt a defensive position and will growl or scratch at you in an attempt to move away.
Just like when speaking to a small child, you should always ensure that you do not tower over your cat – this could make you seem intimidating to it and will make it less likely to relax. Your cat will find it easier to approach you if you are sitting down or kneeling on the floor.
You should speak softly to your cat – if you shout at it, it will be less likely to want to come to you because it has begun to fear you.
Do not make any sudden movements – doing this could spook your cat and may make it run away from you.
If your cat’s tail is bushed, do not approach it – give it a chance to calm down before attempting his action. If your cat’s tail is bushed, she may have been scared by something and could well lash out at you. I made the mistake of approaching my cat, Bess, after she had been scared by something, and she growled and lashed out at me.
I took her action to mean she wanted me to leave her alone – she would come to me in her own time, after she had calmed down.
Do not pick up your cat if it does not want you to
It is not a good idea to pick up your cat if it does not want you to – you should always let it approach you instead. If your cat feels comfortable with you, it will be more relaxed and will find it easy to do things to attract your attention.
Cats are very independent animals, and if you were to pick them up, they would begin to feel that they no longer had control over the situation or over you – it could make them feel insecure and unsafe, which is the last thing you want to do if you wish to develop a bond. They have to feel they are able to trust you.
If your cat is easily scared, it may not enjoy being picked up. Under those circumstances, let it approach you rather than you approaching it – you do not want your cat to feel threatened in any way.
Being picked up is not something that cats are used to. If two cats approach each other, they approach cautiously, rub heads together, or lick each other – they never attempt to pick each other up, so being picked up is not something that is natural to your cat.
Even if you want to show your cat how much you love it and have good intentions, your cat does not know that and will feel vulnerable. Your cat may claw you and struggle in an attempt to get away – if this were to occur, you should always put your cat down again, but very gently, so that you do not hurt it.
My cat, Bess, always struggles every time I attempt to pick her up – so much so that I no longer even attempt it – I do not want to do what I know she does not like to maintain my relationship with her, however much I want to show her affection in this way.
A cat always wants to survey its surroundings with a height advantage, but it will want to do this when it feels it is the one in control – if it was to be picked up, it may feel that you are disrespecting it.
Playing with your cat
Cats need to play to be mentally and physically stimulated. If your cat does not like to go outside much, you should attempt to find a way of stimulating your cat so that it does not become bored. If your cat has some toys it can play with, it will help it to remain happy and contented, and in turn, will learn to appreciate you.
You should be careful when choosing the toy, however, because some toys could scare your cat. For instance, my cat, Bess, hates one of the toys because it has some small balls inside that make a noise when it rolls along the floor, which scares her and makes her run away.
Placing a cat tree near a window will mean your cat is able to see what is going on outside and gives it something to focus on. It also gives it the opportunity to climb, which many cats love to do. Your cat will be able to survey its surroundings with the added advantage of height.
You could also choose a toy with a piece of string hanging from it because this would mean that you could interact with your cat, and would help you to forge a bond. If your cat plays with the toy well, you could pet it to show it how pleased you are.
As tempting as it may be to move your feet under your bed cover to tease your cat, these games should really be avoided because it could encourage your cat to seize you and bite you.
If your cat shows to you that it does not want to play, you should not attempt to force it – that could have potentially damaging consequences for your relationship with your cat.